Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Homesick for Normalcy

I've been in this really weird state of mind recently. I'm home and what I'm doing was, at one point in my life, normal (to clarify, I'm sitting at home bored out of my mind or doing chores), but that sort of lifestyle hasn't been normal for about 4 years. I've always had something to do, a job or something. So, while I'm sitting here on the interwebs, bored out of my mind, with the occasional fun thing to do, I'm pining for different things. I'm pining for more family time. I want to bond with my parents, I want to just watch movies and play games and chat, but they are at work a lot of the time, and I am not. I pine for my University life. I can't wait to go back and see all the friends that I haven't seen since december. I pine for the normalcy of going to class everyday and hanging out with good friends at night and watching movies, or going to church, or grabbing a coffee. I pine for my highschool friends, who I won't see for much longer, unless they make the two hour drive up to Flag. And I also pine for England. Yes, of course I pine for the foggy glory of the British countryside, even though I love me a good cactus and some rocks, but mostly I pine for the people. I want so much to have the times we had back, but they will never again exist. Even if we all get together again, which I'm hoping most of us will do next year, it won't be the same. Change is good, it broadens the mind and the personality, but right now I'm stuck in this strange limbo and I just want to go back. Perhaps not rewind time, because that would be counterproductive, but to have my family, my British friends, my American friends all together with me, each group similar to what it always was, all in one place, so that I can stay close or get closer with all of them, instead of losing the friends I've made and tried so hard to keep. That's all (but don't think I'm depressed or anything, I'm just in Limbo).

No comments: